Actually It’s Fine

Today, I’m sharing about a valuable lesson I learned about love and acceptance over the last decade or so. As you know, Jay and I have been married for almost 25 years now (this December will be our 25th – WOO), and we’ve been through our fair share of ups and downs over the years. But one thing that has remained constant is his flaws, haha. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I have some too, but I’ve always been more aware of his than my own.

For the longest time, I would get frustrated with him whenever he did something that I perceived as ‘wrong’ or ‘annoying’. Whether it was leaving his dirty socks on the couch after work or his shoes strung out all over the house. I couldn’t help but feel irritated by these (small) things. It wasn’t until several years had passed that I realized how unfair and unrealistic my expectations were. #truthbomb

After some thinking and a lot of self-reflection, I came to the conclusion that accepting your spouse’s flaws is a crucial component of a healthy relationship. Nobody’s perfect, and expecting your partner to be flawless (when even you yourself aren’t) is setting both of you up for disappointment. Instead, it’s important to embrace their imperfections and love them for who they are, quirks and all.

Sure, Jay may leave his dirty socks lying around, but he also makes me laugh like nobody else can. He may forget where he left his shoes (in front of the big slider in the family room, next to the dog food), but he’s always there to lend a listening ear when I need it most, and he gives the best, most level-headed advice. In the grand scheme of things, these small annoyances pale in comparison to the many wonderful qualities he brings to our relationship.

Of course, accepting your spouse’s flaws is waaaaaay easier said than done. It requires a great deal of patience, empathy, and understanding, and of course, daily practice. But in my personal experience, the payoff is more than worth it. When you accept, and even learn to appreciate your partner for who they are, rather than who you wish they would be, your relationship can flourish in ways you never thought possible.

So, I’m making a renewed commitment to accept Jay and his flaws, and to love him unconditionally for another 25 years, God willing. I may still roll my eyes when I see his dirty socks all over the place, but I’ll do it with a little smile knowing that it’s just another thing that makes him the incredible man he is. After all, isn’t that what love is all about?

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